BitterSweet Daisies
by Shadowed Soul
Summary: Hilde's choice-- Fight or Forget? Sorry, I suck at summaries. Kinda AU..COMPLETE
1. Let's meet the star of the show Duo!

Disclaimer- don't own 'em, just the plot- which in a way seems to be owning me.

A/N: This is a story I wrote a very long time ago about the actual accounts of me and the one I love—everything in it's true and I thought about doing it as a D/H fic and feathering it up a bit…hope ya like it tell me if you do, or even if you don't, or if you want more. Trust me there is more J 

After the war I guess I became a typical teenager--an overreacting drama who suffers from slight depression and has her Dad's fiery temper. I'm not even old enough to drink and already I have a story to write for you. As I tell my friends, I'm not gonna tell you it in beautiful and poetical words, I'm gonna tell it like it is. Sometimes it's better that way. Of course I probably lost half my readers just from saying it out front like that, but it really is an interesting story. Well, I think it is, it may only be to me because I've experienced it. But then again, you may have experienced it too, who knows; what do you got to lose? Well, here is my story...

I guess I'll start by saying that this is mainly, or completely, about my love life. I'll tell you now that I have a thing about commitment. Well, to be frank, I'm terrified of it. I sort of have the reputation of the "whore" who jumps from guy to guy. My friends say that I just get bored and move on. I don't say anything, but that's not quite it, at all. See, my mom is always working and never has time for me. My dad adores me, but certainly not as much as his pride. So I have this thing about not feeling needed. I don't feel needed at home so I need to feel it with my friends and guys. That's why I don't stay with guys; I just don't feel needed. Then I met this guy. We'll just call him "Tim".

Well, I know Tim loved me, and I loved him, or I did after we broke up. We went out for a bit and had stupid little fights which I, being the drama queen I am, loved. Eventually we had a mutual break-up. After that we continued to talk and got extremely close. I told him and everything and really trusted him. We even had a plan to get married when I turned 18 or whatever. I mean, we had a lot in common, wanted the same life, and even liked the same baby names. Perfect, huh? Well, yeah he cared about me, but I think he took me for granted. He started dating this girl while we were still very in love. She, needless to say, despised me. She always told me to stay away from Tim and I always didn't. They had a lot of problems and I would hear from others about their huge fights. In the process he'd be lying to me saying they weren't together and he hated her while doing the same to the girl about me. Finally I just sort of backed off and they continued their relationship consisting of the same routine. They'd break up, then go back out, break up, and so on and so on...

Well, as this was going on I was miserable but was starting to get over my beloved Tim and fall for my best friend, Duo. You girls would like Duo, he's a great guy. He's very silly and loves to see people happy. He is, of course, also very cute. So basically, he's perfect, At least that's what most girls said about him. He had one flaw that I noticed and that was that he tended to keep his problems to himself. I'm gonna do exactly what he does right now and keep his big problem to myself until later. Well, Duo and I began going out and we were very happy. I just couldn't stop smiling and just seemed to have a better attitude towards things. My best friend Relena even went up to him and thanked him, saying no body had ever made me so happy. This is very weird since I don't stay with a guy for long and stay happy as well. It was because he really loved and cared about me; I could see it in his eyes. Did I mention his eyes yet? He had these amazing eyes that you could get lost in, seriously, gorgeous silver blue eyes. Well we were happy and I finally knew someone who actually cared about me.

Basically, you're about to think I'm an idiot. Duo was an amazing boyfriend; he always put me first and, my favorite, when it was dead silent, he would whisper how beautiful I was. Ok girls, you know how it feels to hear this, so you understand why it meant so much. Even our first kiss was perfect. I was on my way to my friend's house to practice dance wearing dance pants, a tank top, my hair in a messy bun, and some slippers. Well, I was getting in my car when Duo's car appeared in my driveway. He stepped out with a bouquet of daises, my favorite flower, which I didn't ever know he knew that daisies were my favorite. So we were in my garage, leaning against my car and the lights all go out, typical, no? I'm serious, this really happened! So, I can tell he's about to kiss me and I get NERVOUS! I start rambling about the stupidest things. I laugh now because if I can recall, it was about some algebra homework. He starts laughing and says my name to get my attention, but I just keep on talkin', so he kissed me. Not some major movie make-out kiss. Just a simple, sweet, perfect kiss. Have you ever heard the quote that's like 'A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.'? I always think of that quote when I think of that kiss. 

So, yes, Duo is perfect and so is our relationship. Well, Tim came back in the picture. Dun dun dun...I realized that I still had feelings for him and things got complicated. Hey, I always wanted more drama in my life! Be careful what you wish for. It got too much for me to handle so I sort of backed off of Tim and broke up with Duo. I know! I know! I am an idiot, I told you that you would say that. But I promise my relationship with Duo got ever closer. I guess I can tell you his problem now. With his work and all, Duo had to move far away. I know, people move all the time, no big deal. Well, Duo moved around a lot and never had real friends until he moved here, and now he has to move away from them all. Plus I love him to death and I did not want him to go. Still thinking it's not big deal? It's not. It wasn't, until it happened. Duo and I were getting really close, telling each other private things, it was really great. I totally got over Tim and just fell head over heals for Duo. I still haven't told Tim that I have absolutely no feelings for him anymore and I don't know how to. If any of you readers know how, please tell me, I'm up for suggestions! Well, back to the story. Weeks went by and things changed a lot. No, not really, Tim is still with the girl who hates me, but only because of bad circumstances that I swore to him I wouldn't tell anyone about, even the few readers who actually got this far in the story and didn't 'X' it out. I have nothing to do with him anymore. 

My friends and I threw Duo a surprise birthday/going-away party and it was the last thing we have done with him since he moved. We gave him gifts that pertained to events that happened with us all like a Twister board we all decorated, a cast, a softball, and of course we had our usual food fight. I still have the pictures with Catherine doing some weird pose and Duo covered in coke and cake icing. Right before the party I had some work done and was really tired. I ended up falling asleep after the big food fight and only woke up once. When I did wake up it was just in time to see my Duo put a blanket over me--God I love him. That was the last time I saw him. It's been about a week since he left and I've cried every night since. I sprayed his cologne that I stole earlier all over my sweatshirt and wear it all the time now. I have this dull pain in my stomach that just wont go away. It all seems so surreal. Still not a big deal, I know, I can call him and occasionally visit him. I'll tell you why it's such a big deal to me when we're through with the story. See I had this story written out but didn't really plan to post it until a few hours ago when Duo called me for the first time since he left. It meant a lot to me and I miss his voice already. It's now that I realized that I did to Duo what Tim did to me. I took him for granted. I guess that why I wrote this--to tell all you readers to not take someone for granted. The first guy who really loved me I took for granted because I could. I'll go by the nickname he gave me, "Southern belle". He called me it because of my accent. Well, it's not really an accent, just when I would say certain words occasionally that stuck out and showed my true origins. Oh who am I kidding, I've got a major accent, the name was deserved. I thought it was cute and loved it, he called me squeaky, too, because I would sort of squeal when I yawned. He thought that was adorable so he would always call me that EVERY time I yawned. But I think Southern Belle just seemed to be a better name, ya know? To this day I still wonder why he loved me. There are so many other girls that are perfect and pretty and had better days when she is on PMS. But he chose me, the most perfect guy I ever met chose me.

It's too bad he left. You readers probably would have liked him, no one didn't. He changed your life for the better.

His leaving is such a big deal to me and is hurting so much because I'm afraid that after a while, in his new home, he'll make new friends and such and forget about me and our love. Please don't, Duo.

Please remember me.

You will always have my heart, no matter where you live.

Dedicated to my Christabear. I love and miss you.

--Southern Belle

A/N: I found this saved on my computer and I do believe I am going to write a sequel to this about what's happened since he's moved…much more angsty. Want more? Tell me! Toodles! MUAH!


	2. Slow Decline to hell

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em  
  
My muse Twilight is not hear at the moment so I'm taking a blind shot at this ;) Enjoy!  
  
*NOW* "Duo! I'm so glad you called! You haven't called in like 2 weeks, what have you been up to?"  
  
"Not much, ya know, the same old thing. Well, actually I did take up swing dancing!"  
  
"You can't dance."  
  
"Heh, well, oh and...I'm not sure how you'll take this but...I got a girlfriend."  
  
My heart sank. "Really?! That's awesome! I'm so happpy for you!" Oh God I want to die. I can't breathe. Is this room getting smaller? I don't remember that wall being so close. Is the phone ringing? I'm on the phone. I'm going insane. This can't be happening.  
  
"Yeah, uh, we started going out the day before Valentine's Day and yeah. . ."  
  
' Valentine's Day? But that was the week we. . .How could he?'  
  
* 10 MONTHS EARLIER*  
  
"Hilde! Duo called, he's coming in to visit for a week or two while he's off work."  
  
My Duo's coming! Yippee!!! He's been gone about 1 month and this is the first time I get to see him. Of course I didn't know then what I know now but then again, neither do you. Duo came in for a week and had no place to stay so I offered him a place at my house. No harm done. WRONG! Well, it just resulted in me falling more in love with him. We pretty much stayed in my living room the entire week and that was interesting. I remember distinctly two things that happened during that week. One, when he wanted me to pick out a movie and I didn't want to. He came over and picked me up like a baby and carried me to the movie stack and sat me down on his knee. After a moment I noticed that he had slid his hand inside my overalls and was resting it on my hip. I have to blush now thinking about it and it wasn't even that big of a deal, but I still remember the way his hand felt on my side and the way my heart skipped a beat when I thought about it. The next thing I remember is when we were on the couch and were "fighting" about something and he chose the tactic of tickling to win. Well Duo is a sly guy because as he was tickling me he ever so subtly maneauvered us to where he was laying on his back in the couch with me rested against him, my back on his chest and his arms wrapped around my stomach. NERVOUSNESS! I jumped, the only thing I could think of. Damnit, I'm an idiot!!! Well that trip was great..until he left. I, of course, cried like a baby. After that trip we just got closer and closer and finally said 'I love you' to each other. Then came one of the 2 most important conversations between us, and my favorite. We were talking to each other about our future and what we wanted.  
  
"Duo, I'm not going to tell you what I want until I know we're on the same page. I don't want to scare you away. Tell me what you want."  
  
"What I want? What I want. I want to have the same group of friends that I did when I left forever. I want you to be happy. I want us...to.." his voice got softer, I could tell from embarassment." I want us to grow old together. . ."my heart soared, and my grin was ear to ear. "I shouldn't have said that," he muttered awkwardly.  
  
"NO! No, you should have. I...I well, want the same thing."  
  
That was the closest conversation to our future that we had. And the last. Every day I fell more in love with him and thought about him every minute of the day. He, however, I believe was experiencing the opposite. I'm getting too fluffy aren't I? I'm a down to earth girl, people, trust me! It's just when it comes to him everything changes. I even told him about the time that I sorda ya know...did some stuff with a guy..bad stuff if you know what I mean. Well I asked Duo 'what are you thinking.' The boy just sat there speechless the finally spoke,  
  
"I'm thinking about how much I want to be there right now to hold you and trying to figure out why I'm not in the least bit mad at you."  
  
I love you, Duo. So much it hurts. It really hurts. I could sit here and tell you all that I felt during this entire process but there are no words. Just try and imagine. Oh, I guess I forgot to mention all that I did to Duo. Well, when I met him we started dating for a week. Yeah, I dumped him that week for his best friend. I know, I know, I'm a bitch. The next year I did the exact same thing! Needless to say I was utterly surprised when he told me he stilled loved me. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. God told me last week that I'm supposed to be with him and ever since then he's been calling me everyday.  
  
He came down for Christmas. I named a star for him. See, stars are our thing cuz it's the one thing that we can see together but I still don't like sharing him with them. Well, we all went and saw a movie together with a group of friends. It was great being with him in a big group. It's like 'hah!' I can show off what I still have even though he's so far away! Kidding! I just like having him with me. Well, at the movie it was great. He only held my hand once but it was perfect. He was trying to keep me awake cuz I was starting to drift off to sleep. After a while he started to grab my hand and run his fingers over my palm and then he entwined his fingers with mine. I looked down at our hands when he did that. Our hands looked absolutely perfect together, like they were made for each other as well. A single tear ran down my cheek, 'please, God, don't let me lose him.'  
  
I'm grateful for Duo. I don't think he'll ever know how much he means to me and how much he's made an impact on my life. There are no words to tell him. As time went on though he started to seem more distant. He was doing it, making new friends, forgetting old ones. It hurts so much to think about. I don't want to talk to or even think about him right now. I hate hurting. He makes me weak.  
  
I fight with the people around me more often now. I want Duo so badly but at the moment the things he says and doesn't say shows me that he's starting to drift off. Noticeably. I can't live without Duo. But I think I'm going to have to come back to reality.  
  
You don't love me anymore do you, Duo?  
  
A/N: Well, here's the short version of the story. I think the next chapter will be the last unless more stuff happens to me and the guy I'm baseing the story off of. I think I'll start another romance story that I can get more personal stuff between them and of course, some SEX! . If any of you have a couple you like, tell me and I'll do a story about them! 


	3. Fight or Forget?

Disclaimer: Still don't own 'em.  
You don't love me anymore do you, Duo? ----------------------------------------------------------- Nope, he doesn't. He told me. On the phone, I asked him flat out, ' do you love me anymore?'  
  
His reply after a shocked silence came almost painfully; " I..I don't know. Maybe. I still care about you though."  
  
"Alright, that's all I was wondering." I cannot believe he told me he wasn't sure if he loved me anymore. To experience real pain is to make the one you love doubt theirs. Maybe it's an act, maybe he really still loves me but is so tired of the pain. I have thought at one point that I should just tell him we can't be friends cuz it just hurt to bad. Or maybe he really doesn't love me anymore. I can make him love me again, can't I? Here is where I decide my course in love.  
  
Should I fight for him, try to get back into his life and into his heart. Or. . .go on, go on without my soul. I can, I'm strong. I can find another man to care for. Should I fight or forget?  
  
Fight or forget?  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------  
  
I think he already chose for us. Forget. He hasn't talked to me in a month but Heero, his friend called to tell me he is suffering.  
  
I met someone else. Want to know who? You decide. Do I still fight for Duo or continue with this guy I have befriended. It's your risk because you know it's Duo I'm fighting for. However, you don't know who it is that can make me forget. I put it in your hands. Choose wisely please; it is my heart your dealing with.  
A/N: Sorry it's so short, but you have to help me decide what to do. What would you like to read about? Tell me! 


	4. Final Decision

Disclaimer: What do you think?!?!  
  
Thanks to my reviewers!! Thank you to YinGYang for your advice!! You're a sweetheart!! Enjoy my very last chapter...this is my story...  
  
The phone rang. The shrill scream waking me from sleep., ' damn phone.' I eventually found the culprit and answered with a groggy 'hello.'  
  
"Hil? It's Relena...A friend of mine came in from out of state and i'm gonna take him out, I'll be by in 15 minutes to pick you up to come with. Bye!"  
  
"No, Relena- I don- No!" *click*  
  
How does she always do that? Guess I better get ready. I'm sure the only reason she is dragging me along is to try and hook me up with her friend. I know I've been a bit..well, boring, since Duo left. I've stopped caring about a lot of things and became a little anti-social. I'm just not interested anymore. Certainly not in guys. I mean, why bother? No guy will be as good as Duo. I talked to him a few weeks ago. We hadn't said a single word to him since the conversation about him telling me he didn't love me. I don't remember how it happened but we ended up seeing each other in some odd town a few hours from here and tried to talk. It was horrible. It felt like talking to a stranger. We both agreed on that much; that was it. He's still with that girl. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------  
"It's good to see you! Since you've caught up on me, tell me about you. What's new with you?" he asked, a bit awkwardly.  
'What? Me? Anything new? Sure, I haven't had a single boyfriend since you, gained 6 pounds, bought a cat, cut my hair, painted my room in my apartment, learned how to cook spaghetti...ya know, TONS of new stuff, you asshole.'  
"Nope, not much, just work and stuff, the usual." I replied as nonchalantly as possible.  
  
"Well that's cool, we'll have to talk again sometime soon."  
  
"Deffinitly, we gotta keep in touch this time!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------  
Bullshit. That's the last we talked. Maybe I should move on. But I can make him fall back in love with me. I know I can. It hurts to think about him and that girl, knowing how happy they are. I used to be that happy. Why me?!? I don't get it. Is there some mark on me cursing me to a life of misery? I mean, really? Fuck that, maybe I just need to get laid. Nah...what the hell am I gonna wear tonight?!?! Who cares? A pair of jeans and tank top sounds nice. There's the doorbell, I forgot she drives fast...here we go. Tonight is it. Tonight is the night I made my decision. Fight or forget... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------  
Fight or Forget.  
  
Neither. I will not fight for you, Duo, but I will never forget; I couldn't. I asked you to remember, Duo, to remember and always love me. My fear came true. He found someone and forgot me. But I wont forget him, he is a part of me forever. Goodbye Duo, wish me luck, my fighting is over. . . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Hey, Hilde! I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. This is is Trowa Barton. Trowa meet Hilde Schbeiker."  
  
FIN That's it, that's my story.. I'm going to so a sequel to this story of Hilde/Trowa..a lot of sap and a few lemons...look for it soon if ya like. 


End file.
